Showing Up

I've made the decision -many, many times, I might add - to do yoga stretches each morning. I know that it's good for my body, soul and mind. But somewhere between good intentions and a great start, my motivation wanes, and my stretching sessions become farther and few between, until all that's left is my guilt at not doing something I know is good for me. Really good for me. I have arthritis and a chronic lung disease, and gentle yoga stretching can make a huge difference in how I feel in my body. I can have a mind that overloads itself with ought-to's, and a never-ending list of things to do or didn't do or should have done. My half hour of stretching in the morning helps to quiet my mind. At the end of a session my spirit is peaceful because there has been a connection between mind, body and soul. You'd think this kind of a pay-off would keep me hooked, right? Wrong. Go figure.

Well, I'm back to stretching, and have been for the past month. Initially I said I would do it "today." The next day I said I would do it "today". Those days were strung into a week, and I felt the improvement everywhere. I was pleased with myself that I "showed up" every day. Then I commited to myself that I was going to continue this every morning. A huge step, considering one day at a time was working so well! But this time feels different, and I've been wondering why. I can't say it's because I really want to do it this time, because I always want to do it at first. This is what I've figured out:

I'm doing it because I know it's a good thing for my body, mind, and spirit - not because I want to. "Wanting" to comes and goes - the benefit for my body is constant. So whether or not I feel like doing it doesn't fit into the equation. It's just what I do in the morning. Every morning. Like brushing my teeth and all the other morning ablutions, I stretch. It's simply what I do. Taking that time isn't dependent on the weather, my mood, my aches and pains, whether we've got company, whether I've had a good night's sleep or what I have on the day's agenda. Somewhere after my morning tea and before breakfast, I stretch.

So far it's working and my legs, my arms, my neck all feel great. My back is sore, but not because of the stretching. I know it would be worse if I didn't stretch. Now that I have this bit of insight I'm going to take a rummage around in the rest of my life and see if I can apply the same principle: I'll do it because it's what I do. Making change is difficult. Changing the way I approached stretching seems to be as important as the physical act itself. Maybe more. I'll let you know. Meantime, I'll keep showing up on the mat.