Stages 1 & 2: Precontemplation and Contemplation

PRECONTEMPLATION STAGE

"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem."

This quote from G. K. Chesterton starts a paragraph explaining the Precontemplation Stage in Changing for Good. People in this stage generally have no intention of changing their problematic behaviour. It's not a problem for them, so why should they change? Everyone around them can see the problem except the "precontemplator". And, if you can get them to consider changing, it's usually to stop what they see as the constant criticism coming from those around them. They'll go to therapy, try a diet, stop drinking for a day, just to shut people up. Their chances for success are doomed, but they can say they tried.

People in this stage generally don't have much information about their problem, and they'd like it to stay that way. Ever try getting someone in denial to see a movie or read an article about the consequences of obesity, drinking or smoking?

If someone in this stage should begin to think about change, they may feel helpless to change their behaviour. Encouragement and being supportive - not nagging! - will be helpful in supporting someone through change. For the person who has the desire to change, it's very helpful to engage the help of people you love and trust. You'll need to rely on their eyes and ears for a while. Avoid negative people; their criticisms and personal attacks will only fortify your defenses, making awareness of your problem and it's consequences extremely difficult.

Helpful Strategies

• Remember that change is a cycle, and there are other stages to move through. You don't have to stay stuck.
• Allow those who care about you to help you
• Identify your defenses
• develop openness and awareness

CONTEMPLATION STAGE

In this stage people are aware of their problems. They are open to the possibility of change. Generally, they have plans to take action in the next six months or so. This is not the same as making a commitment to action. It's too soon. This is what happens on New Year's Day. We know we need to make some changes, and we commitment to action on the magical date of January 1st, no matter whether we're ready for action or not. It's New Year's Day and off we go. On January 10, we're usually back to our New Year's Eve behaviours. Why? It's as simple as this: We know what's wrong, what needs to change. We know what we need to do to make the change. But, we're just not ready.

The institution of New Year's Resolutions pressures us into premature action. Or maybe, as in the case above, it's the nagging and criticism of family and friends. Either way, we haven't done the groundwork needed for successful change, and what's needed to move into the next stage of change.

Helpful Strategies

• Get information about the problem and possible solutions
• Define your goals in concrete, achievable and measureable terms (I want to lose ten pounds within the next 2 months; I want to quit smoking and use the money saved for a long weekend away this year)
• Collect data (how much do you currently smoke, weigh, drink, spend, work? What would be healthier/more reasonable?)
• Stop and think before you act. Ask yourself, why am I doing this?
• Reflect on your behaviour: (What do I gain by staying in this job?)
• Create a new self-image. Ask yourself these questions: How would you feel about yourself if you made this change? How would others feel about you if you made this change?

Two words of caution here...It can be easy to stay stuck in the Contemplation Stage. I know, I've done it myself. What does that look like? Substituting thinking for acting. Reading about the problem and solutions, talking about the problem and solutions, but not actually doing anything about them. Sound familiar? Sometimes fear of failure can keep us stuck here as well. You'll only fail if you don't try!

Next Friday I'll talk about the next two stages - Preparation and Action.